If you’ve been keeping up with my blog, you know I often share my opinion on relationships in this generation. So, it should be of no surprise, the week leading up to Vday, I sat back and asked myself “Is romance dead?” I didn’t just sit and talk to myself of course! I asked three males and three females that question. Here’s the consensus:
- People aren’t as creative these days.
Monet (@monetj): I think sex has kinda replaced romance, but it’s not dead. It’s just on the back burner. Hmmm idk how to word it. Having sex may turn into y’all showing “romance” for each other as opposed to actually going out on dates and doing all that cute, movie stuff.
Cliff (@cudicliff): I think we are still romantic, but sometimes lack creativity, then, depend on just buying a Michael Kors bag or watch.
Justin (@allhailjp): I think Valentine’s Day is a great holiday to show your love to your partner. I think it’s one sided though and women only expect to get gifts. Not all women. I think women don’t put in enough thought toward men for any holidays. Women use sex as a gift, which I think is lazy, or a simple card and some Jordans. Women should think outside of the box more.
Let me interject here. Sex is not a gift. In my opinion, sex already comes with the territory of a relationship so it’s nothing “holiday worthy”. I agree, women expect to get gifts on Valentine’s Day and don’t put much thought into the giving. Both genders need to get a lot more creative though. I feel like if it’s real love, something from the heart will mean more than a flashy price tag. Write a love letter. Make a photo collage. Bake from scratch.
2. People are scared of getting played.
Justin (@allhailjp): Romance is dead overall in 2017 because women are now openly stating that they’ll go out with a guy just to get a free meal, knowing they have no interest in him. Most guys I know don’t mind taking a woman out, but don’t feel like getting played or having her not appreciate anything.
Nija (@imvvn_): I don’t think romance is dead. I think a lot of guys honestly don’t know how to be romantic lmao like a lot of guys I’ve met don’t really know how to get in touch with their deeper emotional side and show a girl how much they really mean to them. This one guy told me sometimes they’re (guys) scared because they don’t want to be out here, I guess, opening up to a girl and doing all this sweet stuff and then the girl “makes them look stupid”.
Suavexguapo on Snapchat says that it takes a “real couple” to be romantic, “not boys and girls or nggas and btches”. Let’s stop there for a second. How long is this “getting played” concept going to stick around? If you’re the one playing, grow up. If you’re the one getting played, I’ve been played, faded, ghosted, and still put myself out there to find love. Not everyone is “a dub”, but you have to date smart to avoid taking an L. That’s all there is to it. Do not give bf/gf privileges to someone who is not your bf/gf. Remember that!
3. People are in competition due to social media pressure.
Al-Tece (@uncle.silk): I feel like romance is being dictated by what people see on social media and people have actually lost sight of what they want in a partner. People are so numb to reality, watching other people’s love and actually turning romance into a competition. Half the stuff people do for Valentine’s Day is to post it like “look what I got”. If they don’t get shxt, they don’t post lol. The world doesn’t need a day to show your love for someone, but this generation just took it overboard.
Justin (@allhailjp): I also think Valentine’s Day is a competition now amongst women to boast and brag about their gifts on social media. It’s also a way for brokenhearted women to complain “I’m my own valentine” or “Another year alone.”
I wish you all could see me shaking my head. First of all, your relationship is between you and your partner, not you and your 1,000 followers. There’s nothing wrong with showing off your loved one, heck, I like me a WCW too, but there’s a line being crossed today where some women are straight bragging. I say women because never in my life have I seen a man post what he got for Vday. Second, if you’re single on Vday, be single and shut up lol. Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday anyway and the happy couples posting will probably go back to fighting the next day. Everything that glitters ain’t gold.
I got a LOT of feedback on the question “Is romance dead?” Aspen (@asprenee) responded, “Love is dead. No one takes sh*t seriously anymore.” I thought that way too for a while. But I’ve finally decided that romance isn’t dead, it’s just evolving. What do you think?