Desperation Season

Ahhhh…do you smell that? Pumpkin spice, kettle corn, and the desperation to get chose. It must be cuffing season. You know, the time between September and February (can change based on weather and feelings) where everyone wants to get “cuffed up” to avoid being cold and alone all winter. No one with human emotions wants to be left cuddling their pillow this season, but I think it’s safe to say women are more pressed to make it past men’s tryouts than men are pressed to be our starting player. Fellas, all I ask is you don’t draft anyone this season if you don’t want her asking “what are we?” in March.

Personally, I may not settle down this season and that’s quite alright after being cuffed for a year (a cuffing that stayed on the shelf long after its expiration). But some girls are settling, begging, and going to extreme measures just to say they have a bae. In fact, this isn’t just a cuffing season issue. This is a year-round epidemic. Why are women, young and old, so obsessed with being in a relationship?

This question came to me the other day when I overheard my mom talking to her friend on the phone about how a lady they both knew was showing off her wedding ring. That would be normal if her fiance wasn’t a foreigner she never met, living in a different country. There’s plenty of guys out there searching for a green card that will wife the first woman they encounter online. However, if you have to go to the extreme like marrying a complete stranger to feel loved, you’ve got deeper issues. What makes women susceptible to these and less severe scams like situationships? Desperation. Whether it’s the need to prove themselves, low self-esteem, or daddy issues – all these women are trying to fill a hole in their lives with a man’s love.

Now, I completely understand that women are nurtures. It is in our DNA to love and get attention. Meeting someone online or in person and connecting with them to the point where you want to enter a relationship is fine. Relationships can be rewarding. But don’t say yes to the first guy who offers you a title because you’re tired of being the third wheel friend. You may see all your friends getting “chose” and get antsy, but settling for the wrong person can cost you big time. We should be vetting dudes until we know them backwards and forwards. Instead, a lot of women get  hooked onto the first guy that asks them out and ask questions about his character later. Then when he’s not what they actually want, they suck it up and stay – settling.

Even worse than settling is begging someone to be with you. If a man doesn’t want you, he doesn’t want you! Pushing a title on him is only going to make him run further away. If you think about it, begging is trying to persuade someone to do something they don’t want to do. Who wants a boyfriend who really doesn’t want to be in a relationship?

We as women need to be much more secure with ourselves and being alone. Bad dates you shouldn’t have agreed to and texting guys you don’t even like to “have something to do” are not only a waste of your time but make you look foolish. I’m not going to front, I get bored when my phone is dry. But texting no one is better than receiving “wyd” every hour from a guy I hope will grow on me. Find the good in the situation if you don’t get cuffed this fall/winter. You won’t have to buy a boyfriend a Christmas gift!

Comment your thoughts on these desperate women out here today. Don’t forget to like and share this post and more, here on YBO.


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