Men’s Texting Habits Revealed

I texted him first yesterday so he should text me first today.

It doesn’t take 5 hours to work out. WHY hasn’t he texted back??

Welcome to the mind of a female (a slightly obsessed female I should say). Some women can go about their day without checking for a text back. Other’s analyze every minute of the conversation thread, reading and rereading those blue and gray bubbles. For the latter, texting is a big part of their relationship/situationship.  I’ve been there and can say that to me personally, texting is a convenient form of communication that, in the past, I equated to how much my guy cares about me. That’s not necessarily true. Like most things, men and women view texting differently. Instead of guessing what they’re thinking I actually asked them to get down to the bottom of this mystery.

1. Is texting your preferred communication with a girl? Why or why not?

“I’d rather text because I hate talking on the phone. Between my mom and girlfriend on the phone it’s like taking away 3 hours a day of my life.” -Chris, 21

“I feel that I can get to know a person more while on the phone or Facetiming as well. I would also prefer this method over texting because you are able to see mannerisms and can sense certain attitudes/vibes when a person is talking with you.” – Brandan, 22

2. Let’s be honest – why do guys take forever to text back?

“Sleeping, playing 2k or I’ve seen something in the message that I have to think about before I respond. Might take a few hours to have a good answer.” -Dwayne, 26

“Just as women are busy, men are also busy. I know that’s why it takes me a while. Or I genuinely forget to hit send. It happens a lot.” -Mike, 20

“Dudes take forever to text back 1) so they don’t look pressed because no girl likes a over zealous guy and 2) they might in fact actually be busy low key maybe high key lol.” -Nate, 21

3. If you’re into a girl do you text her more or the same as everyone else?

“I can text that person back ASAP. I’ll pause my game of 2k for it.” -Mike, 20

“If I’m into a female, then I will usually text her more than anybody else because I’m intrigued by her . So I’m trying to get to know her better and set up a good relationship.” -Josiah, 26

4. What does it mean when you’re being short with a girl over text? Mad? Busy?

“When I’m being short with a girl that should be a clear sign of I’m not into you. If a girl gives a long drawn out text and I just respond with an “ok”, that should tell you something. Unless I specifically say I’m not in the texting mood or I’m busy.” -Aaron, 21

“Most likely I’m mad about something. Doesn’t necessarily have to be her.” -Dwayne, 26

“When I am short with a girl  either I am busy or I just ran out of stuff to say it’s really unintentional. Just happens.” -Nate, 21

5. What is the most annoying thing girls do over text (i.e. overuse emojis, start fights, send paragraphs)?

“For me it is sending a long text. That will irritate me the most. I don’t want to spend 20 minutes trying to read and decipher a text . If you have that much to say then just call me.” -Josiah, 26

6. How important are “good morning” and “good night” texts to you?

“I don’t feel it is as important if we are just talking. I’m perfectly fine with someone picking up where they left off with the conversation the night before.” -Aaron, 21

“Girls should not be so pressed for a guy to send a good morning or good night text everyday because in essence it has the potential to become a routine rather than a genuine want to wish you a good morning or good night.” -Brandan, 22

7. What are you thinking when you post on social media before texting someone?

“Nothing lol It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I could simply be trying to get my thoughts out the way on Twitter or Instagram.” -Mike, 20

“Honestly, when you think about it, is a guy posting on social media before he texts really going to be the determinant of whether or not he is feeling you or you feeling him? Let’s say a guy does everything in the book for you  but posts on social media before he texts you back. Are you going to break things off with him simply because of this?” -Brandan, 22

As you can see from this group of guys, texting is not the end all to be all. I’m still wrapping my mind around this because I’m someone who is on my phone 24/7. I feel like if you love me so much you should be thinking of me and that translates to a text. This is 1000% inaccurate. Some guys just find texting back and forth all day boring. Others don’t have much to say. You might get a guy who has no problem triple texting but ladies, didn’t you find it annoying when the guy you met at the club blew up your phone the next day?

Put yourself in their shoes. I won’t say all, but a lot of guys don’t need words of affirmation like we do. So try not to take a man’s texting habits too seriously. What you should pay attention to is how he treats you and talks to you in person. Roses mean more to me than a good morning text that he probably sent to four other girls. Think about it this way – you know your best friend is there for you no matter what. But do you text her ALL day? Of course not. Sure, you might hit up the group chat throughout the day but if your bestie doesn’t text you back do you run to Snapchat acting petty? Hell no! That would be psycho and when you do it with guys that’s exactly how you come off. No one wants to wake up from an innocent nap to a “so you can’t text back??” Live the life in front of you, not the one in your phone. Wow I should take my own advice lol I’m learning just like you all. But seriously, watch how the dynamic changes when you’re not waiting on a text message. Easier said than done, but try it with me.


The Make Up

Hey guys! I’m back and I’m better *Bryson Tiller voice*. Hope you haven’t been waiting too long on a new post from me. Since the last time I posted I’ve vacationed in Miami, started a great internship, broke up and got back with my boyfriend, and moved into a new home. Yeah you read that one part right – I was completely done with him…so I thought. I don’t want to go into the details but my relationship has brought me to today’s topic of “making up” with your significant other. When should you give it a second chance and when should you call it quits?

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Break ups suck. A lot. You go over and over in your head about everything that happened  and think of a million “what if’s”. You might cry, or you might tell yourself “good riddance” and try to get back out there. You walk around feeling like you forgot something. Did you turn off the stove? Did you brush your teeth? It’s none of those things. Really it’s just the fact that this person you talked to every day and saw frequently is now eliminated from your life. Your routine has slightly changed because you’re no longer worried about someone else. The one person who knows everything about you is now either a stranger or fake friend. Everything weighs so heavily on you that you finally cave in and say, “Let’s just get back together.”

Slow down speedy. Let’s think about this. Why do you want to get back with your ex? So what you miss them. Sometimes I miss the bad behind dog my family had when I was in middle school. That doesn’t mean I should go get him back from the old lady we gave him to. He always jumped on my bed when he was muddy and ran away constantly. My point is, missing someone isn’t enough reason to get back with them. You have to look at the relationship as a whole. How do you know you actually miss them? You could just miss being in a relationship. Even worse, you could just miss the familiarity of that person. You got comfortable and might just miss what you already know.

With that being said, it actually made me pretty mad when people said to me, “I knew you guys would get back together.” When I asked them how, they said things like “that’s just how it goes these days.” Pause. How can someone who knows nothing about my situation assume I wasn’t serious and I would crawl back into his arms? Apparently because people my age are just going back and forth with the same person instead of healing and taking time to themselves. It has become normal to settle. That wasn’t the case for me. I thought hard about my decision, as should everyone. Don’t make up just because people liked you together or you see him on Facebook with someone new. Consider how the other person made you feel, how they treated you, the potential the relationship could have but also consider WHY it ended.

There are billions of people on this planet. Why would you get back with one that you know isn’t right for you? What would make you return to someone who was violent? How could you ask yourself if the deadbeat is your soulmate? Those all sound like settling if you ask me and the greatest people never settle for anything less than what they deserve. I don’t know about you but I want a real love, not a mediocre one where you hope the other person will change. People can only change if they want to, not if you want them to. If you’re going to get back with an ex, you both have to own up to what went wrong and what can be fixed the second time around. If it’s just you making demands and them saying sure, they’re most likely just going along with it to get you back. Then you’re thrown back into the same cycle.

What if the decision to give your relationship another shot isn’t as clear as “she put her hands on me” or “I wasn’t myself with him”. Everyone’s relationship is different, but the decision to get back together can be made easy with your answer to one question: Why? He made you laugh. So? You love her. And? As I’ve said on here before, I’m not a relationship expert by any means. However, I do know what’s right and what’s wrong from experience and observation.  My aunt and uncle have been divorced for a very long time. Now, my whole family will be going to their wedding in October. That’s a “make up” for sure! What did your ex add to your life that was irreplaceable? That thing you can’t live without. That’s the most important thing you can ask yourself. Think about it and get back to me.