When something gets under your skin or someone rubs you the wrong way, do you pop off or bite your tongue? If you’re anything like me (short tempered, sensitive, outspoken) you may want to address the situation right then and there. However, I’m learning this alternative called “picking your battles” which has been foreign to me for the most part haha.
Picking your battles just means choosing which situations in your life are worth the fight and which ones are better left alone. With me, nothing is ever left alone. But I’m starting to realize not every action needs a reaction. Sometimes you just have to let things go.
This is easier said than done, especially if you’re used to reacting to everything. So how can we learn to pick our battles? First, you have to ask yourself “Why am I mad and will I still be mad later?” If you don’t have a logical reason for being mad and the situation could blow over in a day, drop it. There’s no use fighting about something you’re not even going to care about later. Second, if you decide to address the situation because it’s eating at you then you have to wait until you’re calm and can speak constructively. Don’t let your emotions speak for you. I’ve seen the smallest disagreements turn into huge fights because people can’t communicate their feelings properly. Communication is two sided. Remember to listen as well as speak.
In short, picking your battles can lead to a happier and healthy life because you start to realize some things aren’t worth the hassle. If biting your tongue bothers you, remember to speak in a way that will diffuse the problem, not escalate it. Let me know your tips for picking your battles! I’m still getting used to this 😂
Sometimes life feels like a staircase that you’re building for yourself. Every day is another step toward the top. Maybe your dream job is at the top or perhaps a new house. Then all of a sudden the stairs fall right from under you and it’s back to square one. That’s how I feel right about now.
The thing about life is, it never goes as planned. You can build that staircase all you want then a wrecking ball can come from the side and demolish everything. And there go your plans like a Jenga tower. It’s funny, I always feel like as soon as you get yourself together is when you start to get attacked.
So what do you do when you feel like you’ve been kicked back to the bottom? Do you stress or worry? Of course not! Worry less, live more. Everything may seem like the end of the world but I promise you it isn’t. This life is artificial and one day none of it will matter anyway.
That sounds morbid. What I mean is you can’t worry about things out of your control. So you didn’t get the job you wanted or you don’t have enough money for a new house. Will crying about it get you that job and more money? If you answered no then you already have the right mind set. I’ll share with you guys that I’m a bit of a “cryer” meaning I cry during hard times. But once those tears are gone and I get myself together I 1) pray about it 2) apply myself 3) keep busy. To be honest I should scrap the crying and do these things first. I’m still learning.If you’re religious, pray. If not, meditate. You MUST do something to release those troubles. I leave everything up to my God and keep it moving. I then apply myself which means that if I’m looking for a job I update my resume or something along those lines. You can’t ask for blessings without putting in work. Finally, I keep busy while the seeds that my God and I planted grow. Art is my therapy during hard times. You can find yours too!
Ten years from now do you want to regret worrying about life or do you want to rejoice because you lived it? Dust yourself off and continue to build that staircase while enjoying the view from each stair.
Oh lawd, Black Twitter has done it again with yesterday’s already played out hashtags #WasteHisTime2016 and #WasteHerTime2016. Some tweets were jokes, some seemed genuine (sadly), all with the gist of the trend being to lead someone on. Clearly even I was entertained if I gave in and retweeted the tweet below:
With all jokes aside, these hashtags had me shaking my head because dating in my generation is really like this. We invented the “talking” phase where both parties act like they’re in a relationship but don’t have a “title” and it just becomes a mess from that point. In the end, someone’s time is wasted and feelings are hurt. What if adults my age didn’t #WasteHisTime2016 and were actually this crazy thing called HONEST from the jump? Frankly, I’d rather a guy tell me he’s trying to hit than use some recycled pick up lines on me. Fellas, please leave “I’m trying to make you mine” in 2o15!
I’m no relationship expert by many means but my simple rule is this: If you’re feeling the person heavy, cuff them. If not, don’t waste their time. Still not sold? Here’s 3 reasons not to #WasteTheirTime:
- It’s childish
We are too grown to be playing games with people’s hearts. Going back and forth with someone and pretending to like them seems like high school tendencies to me. Honesty is a major building block to the foundation of a mature relationship.
2. It makes you look bad
You may or may not care, but when you play with people the word gets around about you. “He’s a flirt” or “She’ll friendzone you” aren’t just rumors when you’ve played everyone in your DMs. Sooner or later you’re going to be tweeting #Can’tFindAGirl because your messages are dry. No one wants to be your next victim.
3. You waste your own time
Wasting someone’s time may reap artificial rewards but being in a real relationship has even bigger rewards. You could be creating a genuine connection with someone if you weren’t so busy wasting 5 people’s time at once. You may feel like top dog for playing them or “winning” but as DJ Khaled once said, “Congratulations, you played yourself.”
*Sigh* I hope you guys take what I’ve said to heart. I couldn’t believe this hashtag popped up in 2016. I thought we were all gung ho about “change” and “bettering ourselves.” Let me know what you guys think in the comments below!